I’m not a spontaneous person by nature, and being a parent to a neurodivergent child has only solidified that tendency. Usually, any trip, especially into a place as big and bustling as London, comes with a spreadsheet, backup snacks, detailed timetables, noise-cancelling headphones, and an escape route or three.

But last weekend, in a moment of rare impulsivity and sunshine. I thought, Why not just go for it? A spontaneous adventure! No plans, no expectations, just hop on a train and see where the day takes us.

Spoiler alert: the day took us on a whirlwind of sensory overload, unplanned bathroom searches, unexpected crowds, and emotional meltdowns (from both of us).

The Myth of the “Chill” Day Out

It started off okay. The train was quiet, we got a window seat, and I began to believe we could wing it. But then London happened. You know, the usual chaos: delays, crowds, sirens, unexpected performers with very loud drums on the South Bank.

For a neurotypical child, this might be part of the adventure. For my ND child, it was a ticking time bomb of unpredictability.

No plan meant no structure. No structure meant no sense of safety. By midday, we were in full survival mode: me Googling “quiet cafes near Trafalgar Square” while trying to keep my child from melting down in a Pret queue because they’d run out of the one sandwich he eats.

Why Planning Isn’t Controlling—It’s Compassion

Here’s what that day reminded me: planning isn’t about being rigid. It’s about creating a scaffolding so my child can feel secure. When the world is overwhelming and noisy and full of surprises, a clear, predictable plan is a lifeline. It’s a way of saying, I see what you need to feel safe. I’m holding that space for you.

And yes, I wanted the spontaneous magic. I wanted to be that carefree parent who can just decide on a whim to pop into a museum or grab lunch from a food truck. But that’s not our reality.  That’s okay.

Lessons Learned (and Re-Learned)

1. Structure isn’t boring, it’s supportive. A clear itinerary can prevent so many unnecessary struggles.
2. Spontaneity still has its place. But for us, it looks like choosing between two planned routes, not inventing a day out from scratch.
3. My child’s needs aren’t inconvenient. They’re just different, and honouring them helps us both actually enjoy our time together.

Will I ever do another impulsive trip like this? Maybe. But next time, I’ll at least have a list of toilets, quiet zones, and sandwich shops saved on my phone.

Because parenting an ND child doesn’t mean saying no to adventure—it means saying yes in our own way.